I am Cathy Wield, but who am I exactly and what makes me tick. Now redefining my occupation as a writer, the world suddenly takes on new challenges. My passions remain similar and I still want to fight the stigma of mental illness but there are new horizons. I have learnt so much more about myself since emigrating to the United States.
The books I have written are not the whole story or at least not the completed story. The historical events are indisputable, but I have more insight about my early life and how it affected me so profoundly in adulthood. I have experienced healing of some very painful memories for the first time which is exciting, although I am fully aware that this is a process and it may take a while.
I am a woman of faith, but further definitions in this category may draw some near but also push many away. So I would rather leave it at that for now. I have so much compassion for those who suffer from all walks of life whatever belief system they have chosen. My desire is to be authentic about myself but I know there are many pitfalls and though I abhor hypocrisy, I am just as likely as anyone to possess this trait. So this comes with a warning: I am far from perfect and may unwittingly offend, although it is certainly not my intention to do so. May I ask for your patience and tolerance because I am a work in progress and I will make mistakes?
I spent most of my working life as an Emergency Physician, but I did have a couple of significant periods where well….. the politically correct phrase is, I took ‘a career break’. It makes my profile potentially more colorful than most: Dr Crazy Wield specializes in every emergency related to depression, self-harm and suicide, but lives to tell the tale. Well able to sympathize with unwanted effects for many medications; personal experience of overdose, ECT, suturing and surgery. Excellent communication skills after 7 years of face to face counseling and psychotherapy. She’s not so bad at other aspects of Emergency Medicine either………..Suffice it to say, I can call myself a thriving survivor and I have a unique perspective having played both the roles of doctor & patient.
My plans to continue practicing as a doctor were thwarted when I arrived here in the USA. Despite passing the rigorous USMLE – US medical licensing exams, I hadn’t seen the small print which meant that in order to apply for the necessary clinical experience as a hospital resident, I would need to have qualified from medical school within the last 5 years – that counts me out. I am rather more experienced than that. Nevertheless, nothing is wasted, but my career is clearly not going to be as a clinician.
This is liberating in many ways, set free to pursue other avenues. My first attempt at a job here was working with the homeless, though it has to be said that the reason I resigned following an unprovoked assault, had more to do with the response of the institution than the actual injuries. I admit a little reluctantly that I suffered from PTSD following the assault, but on the positive side, I have another string to my bow in the understanding of mental health conditions – there’s nothing quite like ‘lived experience’!
My assailant was arrested but unable to stand trial ‘by reason of insanity’. I was horrified to hear that she was released back to the streets without any treatment. I had hoped that some good would come from this incident and that she would get the help that she so desperately needed. I was told, that it’s ‘too expensive’ to offer her treatment…………
As usual, it is those who have no voice who lose out the most – in this instance, the homeless, the mentally ill and the addicted. I feel right at home among them, but I need to step up, step out and speak out as I doubt many others will.
Please join me – there is a battle in progress. We will win it one day – injustice will be defeated.
To quote a famous book – “the wolf and the lamb shall graze together; the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and the dust shall be the serpent’s food. They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain.”
Hasten the day!
Cathy Wield 